What Is Domestic Violence?
Domestic violence — also called intimate partner violence (IPV), domestic abuse, or family violence — is a pattern of behavior used by one person to gain and maintain power and control over another person in an intimate or family relationship. It is not limited to physical violence. Domestic violence encompasses physical, emotional, psychological, sexual, financial, and digital abuse.
Domestic violence affects people of every age, gender, race, ethnicity, socioeconomic status, education level, and sexual orientation. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), approximately 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men experience severe intimate partner physical violence in their lifetime.
Types of Domestic Violence
Domestic violence takes many forms, and victims often experience multiple types simultaneously:
Physical abuse — Hitting, slapping, punching, kicking, choking, pushing, burning, or using weapons. Any use of physical force intended to cause harm, injury, or intimidation.
Emotional and psychological abuse — Constant criticism, humiliation, name-calling, gaslighting (making someone question their reality), threats, intimidation, and isolation from friends and family.
Sexual abuse — Any sexual contact or behavior that occurs without explicit consent, including within a marriage or relationship.
Financial abuse — Controlling access to money, preventing a partner from working, running up debt in a partner's name, or making all financial decisions without input.
Digital abuse — Monitoring a partner's phone, email, or social media, using tracking apps without consent, sending threatening messages, or sharing intimate images without permission.
Stalking — Repeated, unwanted contact that causes fear, including following, showing up uninvited, sending gifts after being told to stop, or monitoring someone's activities.
The Cycle of Violence
Domestic violence often follows a recognizable pattern known as the Cycle of Violence, identified by psychologist Lenore Walker:
Phase 1: Tension Building — Tension increases over time. The abuser becomes increasingly critical, irritable, and controlling. The victim may feel like they are "walking on eggshells," trying to keep the peace.
Phase 2: Acute Incident — The tension erupts into an episode of abuse. This may be physical, emotional, sexual, or a combination. The severity of incidents often escalates over time.
Phase 3: Reconciliation ("Honeymoon Phase") — The abuser may apologize, make promises to change, give gifts, or show affection. They may minimize the abuse ("It wasn't that bad") or blame the victim ("You pushed me to it").
Phase 4: Calm — A period of relative peace. The abuser may be on their best behavior. The victim may hope that the abuse is over.
This cycle then repeats, often with increasing severity. Understanding this cycle is crucial because it helps explain why victims stay — the reconciliation and calm phases create hope for change.
Warning Signs of Domestic Violence
Warning signs that someone may be in an abusive relationship include:
Withdrawing from friends and family or becoming isolated Making excuses for a partner's behavior Having unexplained injuries or implausible explanations for bruises Showing signs of anxiety, depression, or fearfulness around their partner Being controlled financially — not having access to money or a bank account Frequently checking in with a partner or needing permission to go places Personality changes — becoming more withdrawn, anxious, or submissive A partner who is excessively jealous, possessive, or who monitors their every move
If you recognize these signs in yourself or someone you know, help is available.
Resources and Help
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, these resources can help:
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) — Available 24/7 Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673
Safety planning resources, local shelter directories, and legal advocacy services are available through the National Domestic Violence Hotline website.
For those ordered by a court to complete a domestic violence awareness class, our online program provides comprehensive education on all aspects of domestic violence, its effects, prevention, and healthy relationship skills.